Natives Rising: On Monsters and Excuses - P.O.W. Report

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Natives Rising: On Monsters and Excuses

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Thought for the Day~ Nearly everyone appreciates a good explanation but almost no one likes an excuse. Knowing the difference goes a long way toward healing relationships.

An explanation tells the hurt person that we don't like what happened either and that we wish it didn't because it wasn't what we intended. It implies if not out right offers an apology.

An excuse tells the hurt person not to be upset because everything that happened was actually ok and if the same situation arises next time we will do the exact same thing.

Every time we make an excuse we are telling someone we actually do not care how they feel. Every time we offer an explanation we are assuring them we do.

Different, isn't it?


Thought for the Day~ Once a kid has seen the monster you can't tell him it isn't there. I learned this the hard way when my then 3 year old son and I were flipping through channels and stumbled on some slasher flick. Children may not be able to always tell what is "real" and what isn't but I have seen they have a very good ability to understand the gist of what is going on.

When we tell them there is nothing bad going on when they can clearly see there is we become untrustworthy in their eyes. My son and I came up with this rule: no monsters (including real ones like drugs, violence and empty refrigerators) would be allowed in the house any more. He could trust that and went to sleep just fine that night.

Your friendly neighborhood Ravenspeaker

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